About NamelessNeko : Underpaid fast food restaurant assistant manager. Nothing more to see here, move along...
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (4039)
On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13536) - you deserved it (5155)
On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5409) - you deserved it (15558)
On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6119) - you deserved it (6552)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8988) - you deserved it (12950)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (2554)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (21826)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (8127)
On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15750) - you deserved it (2235)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (20571)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7288) - you deserved it (38903)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20739) - you deserved it (2524)
On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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