About NakMuayAdam : I'm smarter,faster, stronger and better than all of you, bow to me.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (614)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (11386)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (4041)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (11231)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43724) - you deserved it (4192)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57490) - you deserved it (8156)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (48106)
On 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by QueenOrangeSoda (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47697) - you deserved it (3292)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43169) - you deserved it (10423)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57646) - you deserved it (3436)
On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51076) - you deserved it (4714)
On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34961) - you deserved it (4505)
On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (6071)
On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (1998)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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