Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Nacirema20

Search for a member

Nacirema20

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7023
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Nacirema20's page activity

Visits<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:10am<b>offdaily</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:54am<b>Emmaisobel</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:42am<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:57am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:01am<b>skydiggity</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:12am<b>Han1156</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:19am<b>kelxdao</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:08pm<b>NarutoFox9</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:07pm<b>twachter</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Esels_Hintern</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:17pm<b>NWO666</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:03pm<b>sofiatahila88</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:28pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:25pm<b>tylerdestroyer</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 1:17am<b>Laxoxo224</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 11:16pm<b>WantdDOA</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:27am

Nacirema20's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nacirema20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

#7290738
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (23995)

On 01/11/2010 at 11:03pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (4360)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (15138)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45391) - you deserved it (4285)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

#5138751
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45675) - you deserved it (17729)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (17353)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

#4307488
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (59293)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116392) - you deserved it (4596)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (2947)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

#4276088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36294) - you deserved it (23334)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61942) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

#3921342
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42894) - you deserved it (27802)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52793) - you deserved it (4923)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

#3559417
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (17910)

On 07/07/2009 at 5:29pm - animals - by ssnickel - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (216734)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: