Nacirema20

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Nacirema20

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7284
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Nacirema20's page activity

Visits<b>MisterKnowItAll</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:45am<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:32pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:43pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:07am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 4:07pm<b>watwatwatwat</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:50pm<b>Daring_dancer</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:59pm<b>possiblyapotato</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:10am<b>offdaily</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 12:54am<b>Emmaisobel</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:42am<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:57am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:01am<b>skydiggity</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:12am<b>Han1156</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:19am<b>kelxdao</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:08pm<b>NarutoFox9</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:07pm<b>twachter</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 3:17pm

Nacirema20's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Nacirema20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

by Username / 01/11/2010 at 11:03pm / Transportation

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

by thatgirl247 / 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

by whyme27 / 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

by boytoy / 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

by unlucky / 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

by superfiedman / 08/04/2009 at 4:40am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

by Optimist / 08/04/2009 at 4:26am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

by webperson04 / 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

by mook / 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

by ssnickel / 07/07/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

by Stoopid / 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous