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Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter since we have a class together. He wrote one day "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny until I realized the date/time was when we have class together and i sit in front of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you totally deserved it (2096)
On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30956) - you totally deserved it (8898)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28262) - you totally deserved it (2223)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you totally deserved it (8847)
On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27095) - you totally deserved it (10545)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9587) - you totally deserved it (37386)
On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74317) - you totally deserved it (2011)
On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36578) - you totally deserved it (1514)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you totally deserved it (13926)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you totally deserved it (16450)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you totally deserved it (2643)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was in charge of throwing a party for my mom. I told my little brother he was suppose to blow up the balloons which were in my dresser. Apparently, he accidentally found all my condoms, unknowingly, and decorated the house in prophylactics instead of balloons. Happy Birthday, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you totally deserved it (15970)
On 07/07/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Ryan (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5664) - you totally deserved it (86919)
On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37670) - you totally deserved it (4531)
On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37332) - you totally deserved it (18464)
On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
