NPN_Scorpio

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Offline (the 03/20/2016 at 8:42pm)

NPN_Scorpio

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1781
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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NPN_Scorpio's page activity

Visits<b>sarahxHx</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:16pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:06pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:54pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:21am<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:42am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:48am<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:51pm<b>Treveyon56</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 5:04pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:51am<b>ColbyM88</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 6:11am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:39pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 9:17pm<b>ninjaCarebear</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:43pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:36am<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 8:55am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:16pm

NPN_Scorpio's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of NPN_Scorpio's badges

NPN_Scorpio's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy