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NPN_Scorpio

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NPN_Scorpio

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1161
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:21am<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:42am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:48am<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:51pm<b>Treveyon56</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 5:04pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:51am<b>ColbyM88</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 6:11am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:39pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 9:17pm<b>ninjaCarebear</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:43pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:36am<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 8:55am<b>Dimence</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 9:13pm<b>kyhockey</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 1:47pm<b>TheOrangeProon</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:15pm<b>emag_eht</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 11:48pm

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NPN_Scorpio's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (16791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (33651)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (5038)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64087) - you deserved it (3201)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29375) - you deserved it (2439)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12732) - you deserved it (39682)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36164) - you deserved it (10961)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (17058)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (5043)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25680) - you deserved it (7792)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (43736)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (15113)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (23301)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13181) - you deserved it (59184)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (3487)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)



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