NPN_Scorpio

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Offline (the 03/20/2016 at 8:42pm)

NPN_Scorpio

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1912
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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NPN_Scorpio's page activity

Visits<b>sarahxHx</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:16pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:06pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:54pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 7:21am<b>cracchiolo</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:42am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 2:48am<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 4:51pm<b>Treveyon56</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 5:04pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:51am<b>ColbyM88</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 6:11am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:39pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 9:17pm<b>ninjaCarebear</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:43pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:36am<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 8:55am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:16pm

NPN_Scorpio's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of NPN_Scorpio's badges

NPN_Scorpio's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

by Good sister / 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

by ohgawd / 10/08/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

by Username / 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

by friskeyk14 / 10/04/2011 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

by Extended_desktop / 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm / Poland / Intimacy

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

by SCREWED / 07/15/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids