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Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13467) - you deserved it (34431)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8867) - you deserved it (1432)
On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (2348)
On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (1843)
On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (3402)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8566) - you deserved it (33229)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)
Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (13335)
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6847) - you deserved it (4833) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15308) - you deserved it (22635)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35448) - you deserved it (3521)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51956) - you deserved it (2178)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (1654)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4239) - you deserved it (11796)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (7623)
On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16997) - you deserved it (11491)
On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)
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