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NEMESIS15

Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 11:06pm) | Search for a member

NEMESIS15

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 January 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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NEMESIS15's page activity

Visits<b>007type</b> - the 10/17/2012 at 10:09pm

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NEMESIS15's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (8585)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

#21423445
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (1997)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41910) - you deserved it (2837)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32632) - you deserved it (3255)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (2876)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML

#21357283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (3755)

On 02/16/2015 at 11:39am - intimacy - by notdaddy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41570) - you deserved it (2325)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37788) - you deserved it (2878)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (2563)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (3398)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (7092)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (36910)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (11863)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam



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