MysteryJoker

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Offline (the 08/12/2014 at 2:59am)

MysteryJoker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3834
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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MysteryJoker's page activity

Visits<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:35pm<b>jamieros</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:16am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:49pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 7:27pm<b>kitkatlover61</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 9:39pm<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 2:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:47pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:21am<b>TheIndieStar</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 10:26am<b>qtips402</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 6:49pm<b>_SexyLexi_</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 8:34pm<b>goldenguitar</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 6:00pm<b>papernapkin</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 7:33pm<b>marleytooyou</b> - the 04/06/2010 at 9:23pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/11/2010 at 7:08am<b>jester101</b> - the 02/28/2010 at 5:42pm

MysteryJoker's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of MysteryJoker's badges

MysteryJoker's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:06am / Kazakhstan (Almaty) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

by Jeremy / 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

by NoFriends / 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

by fd_uplife / 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

by sunboy52 / 05/05/2009 at 3:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

by Mikey / 04/26/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

by GrandmasWhore / 04/04/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous