MysteryJoker

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Offline (the 08/12/2014 at 2:59am)

MysteryJoker

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3753
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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MysteryJoker's page activity

Visits<b>turdoblast</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:35pm<b>jamieros</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:16am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:49pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 7:27pm<b>kitkatlover61</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 9:39pm<b>paintedchocolate</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 2:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:47pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:21am<b>TheIndieStar</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 10:26am<b>qtips402</b> - the 07/19/2010 at 6:49pm<b>_SexyLexi_</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 8:34pm<b>goldenguitar</b> - the 06/05/2010 at 6:00pm<b>papernapkin</b> - the 04/07/2010 at 7:33pm<b>marleytooyou</b> - the 04/06/2010 at 9:23pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/11/2010 at 7:08am<b>jester101</b> - the 02/28/2010 at 5:42pm

MysteryJoker's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of MysteryJoker's badges

MysteryJoker's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

by AnAwesomePerson7 / 09/25/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML

by Mills / 01/18/2010 at 6:49am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

by lamed / 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

by Indoraptor / 11/14/2009 at 7:59am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

by snapped / 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

by missmycomp / 11/12/2009 at 9:36am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

by Teaching / 11/12/2009 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

by skyhawk13 / 10/30/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML

by looking / 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy