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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34075) - you deserved it (1557)
On 01/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by Mills (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (10204)
On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (1424)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (1913)
On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (6614)
On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (6830)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33051) - you deserved it (3563)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (41198)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (12229)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by looking (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54620) - you deserved it (12513)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54206) - you deserved it (2376)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49226) - you deserved it (3594)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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