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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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My2864

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My2864
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 960
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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My2864's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

#13068914 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (8470)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (19828)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (7268)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369 (424)

I agree, your life sucks (13606) - you deserved it (48429)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (8783) - you deserved it (48687)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (38947)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8218) - you deserved it (32043)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (8590)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said that I thought being glassed wouldnt actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

#6856689 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (5581) - you deserved it (20390)

On 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by itstillhurts (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6496) - you deserved it (34029)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

#5688481 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (9375) - you deserved it (26277)

On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (46178) - you deserved it (9814)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (38132) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)