MxTori

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MxTori

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6240
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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MxTori's page activity

Visits<b>max2732</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:37pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:01am<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 12:14am<b>Bradley_Dillon</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 6:00pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:07am<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:56am<b>chubs</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 5:53pm<b>krazzygood</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 12:15am<b>pinkfrenchrose</b> - the 03/26/2009 at 5:27pm

MxTori's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MxTori's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

by Moisdone / 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

by Jesse / 03/20/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML

by 06SuFi / 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

by Sad / 03/01/2009 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

by Monty / 03/01/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

by Mike / 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Geek

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

by loser / 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I decided I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

by ugh!! / 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy