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Msfan93

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 4:48am) | Search for a member

Msfan93

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Msfan93's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (7269)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36554) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (2350)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49360) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34228) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10918) - you deserved it (32825)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37769) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (3477)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48976) - you deserved it (10225)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55493) - you deserved it (9867)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (7262)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (2013)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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