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Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (11573)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (82650)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43441) - you deserved it (4161)
On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11227) - you deserved it (32365)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (3515)
On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (2377)
On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (3067)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm - animals - by brittaneejanex - United States
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (3251)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (48201)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (13487)
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45472) - you deserved it (4168)
On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12045) - you deserved it (43481)
On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (4374)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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