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Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (1766)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38648) - you deserved it (7358)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (6245)
On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (11927)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (6428)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19181) - you deserved it (3105)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25913) - you deserved it (3009)
On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (4080)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7845) - you deserved it (36903)
On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (9381)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (3323)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (5101)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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