Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrsPegg

Online | Search for a member

MrsPegg

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11703
  • Number of comments : 294
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About MrsPegg : I just love a good laugh & FML gives it to me everyday! :)

MrsPegg's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 8 hours ago<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>yoloswaggens</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:36am<b>mystery_user</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:36am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:25am<b>xbobbiee95</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:57am<b>ptoka</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:53am<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:53am<b>DepartmentStore</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:49am<b>wGx14</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 7:42am<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:22am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:07pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:59am<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:21pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:27pm<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:52pm<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:45pm

MrsPegg's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of MrsPegg's badges

MrsPegg's favorite FMLs

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36515) - you deserved it (3827)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

#20462065
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (2036)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41071) - you deserved it (7185)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (3148)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46347) - you deserved it (7919)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (5976)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (8774)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37496) - you deserved it (5702)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34191) - you deserved it (2763)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (4317)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (5831)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: