Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrsPegg

Search for a member

MrsPegg

375Fucked!

MrsPeggMrsPegg
  • Town/Country : New Orleans, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 July 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 36402
  • Number of comments : 442
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 91 posted

About MrsPegg : I love reading about poor souls and their sh*tty days; taking joy out of others misery while somewhat lessening mine. Been on FML for a while now and am currently in treatment for my severe intolerance to bullshit and games.... I am always in the constant struggle of trying to get an FML published, so feel free to follow my FML journey and lets see how high my submission number can get! Woot woot!

I don't check my messages too often, but PM if you wanna. Except you pubescent level horny, living-in-your-parents-basement but-you're-too-damn-old-to ones. Please don't.

I also will give a fuck, for a fuck. Fucks for fucks sake. I sometimes give a Fuck but it disappears, so let me know if I owe you one.



If you've read down this far, I hope you have a good day and that FML made your FML just a tad bit less FMLy.

MrsPegg's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 16 hours ago<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:18am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:12pm<b>hare</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:28pm<b>meatball4122</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:11am<b>blcksocks</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:35am<b>pete9913</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:14am<b>kolom</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:30pm<b>itsellaaaaa</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:16pm<b>lulumars</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 7:28am<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:21am<b>Mr_Brightside_</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:08pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 6:47pm<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:44pm<b>jackassthebadass</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:25am<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:55pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:49pm

Fucked!<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:12am<b>hullarms</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:14pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 5:27am<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:26pm<b>myselfkk</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:44pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:08am<b>YourOpinionSucks</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:09am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:54am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 1:48pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:33am<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:26am<b>CCRider</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 5:07am<b>niallo</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:20am<b>ixyasmine</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 7:06pm<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 6:55pm<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 6:28pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 6:09pm

MrsPegg's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

See all of MrsPegg's badges

MrsPegg's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML

#21479432
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31636) - you deserved it (5615)

On 10/13/2015 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

#21478471
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

#21478134
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (5078)

On 10/10/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by iskalion (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

#21477518
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (17509)

On 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm - work - by shitbucketsfilledwithshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of a presentation, I fought a shart, but the shart won. FML

#21477505
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/08/2015 at 11:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

#21476456
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (3522)

On 10/05/2015 at 3:20pm - health - by ouch - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect size to become lodged in one's nasal cavity when vomited back up. FML

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

#21475579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (11675)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was running late for work. I forgot my name tag and work hat at home, but my boss is pretty laid back, so I wasn't worried about it. Five minutes into my shift, the district supervisor walked in for a surprise employee inspection. FML

#21475519
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you deserved it (5655)

On 10/02/2015 at 10:32pm - work - by illuminatzi (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned what being stabbed in the leg by an ex feels like. FML

#21475215
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (2257)

On 10/02/2015 at 12:24am - love - by Anon Y. Mous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

#21474925
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (6309)

On 10/01/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

#21474532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/30/2015 at 9:13am - misc - by Nick Pat (man) -

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

#21474470
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (2206)

On 09/30/2015 at 2:47am - health - by strayy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: