Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mr_S3xypants

Search for a member

Mr_S3xypants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 907
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mr_S3xypants : I live the life given to me. Everyday is a day in paradise =] hmu

Mr_S3xypants's page activity

Visits<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 6:29am<b>Lifeisunfairxo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:23pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:55pm<b>far5had</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 7:25pm

Mr_S3xypants's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Mr_S3xypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15062) - you deserved it (40783)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (9002)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (8206)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast... I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

#19645294
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (3910)

On 05/19/2012 at 4:03am - work - by themcdave - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7217) - you deserved it (25092)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39117) - you deserved it (2442)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26884) - you deserved it (6302)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

#19315515
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26024) - you deserved it (12695)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (7763)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7344) - you deserved it (24170)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30447) - you deserved it (5226)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (5283)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

#18768991
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11216) - you deserved it (33448)

On 01/10/2012 at 7:37pm - money - by Voltron - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: