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Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8261) - you deserved it (55340)
On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55610) - you deserved it (3530)
On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (48365)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (48365)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (48365)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (93749) - you deserved it (4010)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55445) - you deserved it (5021)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46737) - you deserved it (127671)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (37674)
On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14933) - you deserved it (48226)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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