Mr_Positive

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Mr_Positive

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30861
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mr_Positive's page activity

Visits<b>Terzy</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 1:02am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:24pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:27am<b>kittygirl24</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 9:23pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 3:01am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 01/26/2010 at 3:38pm<b>darienlake</b> - the 01/25/2010 at 1:48pm<b>bertiebass1</b> - the 01/21/2010 at 11:14am<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/30/2009 at 11:00pm<b>remainthesamex3</b> - the 08/09/2009 at 3:57pm<b>hollyay</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 3:42pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 8:32pm<b>MissCherrywhipx</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 6:53pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 4:41pm<b>Weil</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 1:57pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 6:21pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 3:46pm<b>malakaboy</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 6:12pm

Mr_Positive's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mr_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

by unemployed / 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 2:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

by Kens / 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

by Bo / 04/22/2009 at 9:50am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Love

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

by Anon / 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

by laxguy23 / 04/21/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health