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Mr_Positive

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Mr_Positive
  • Town/Country : Oakville, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 28766
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mr_Positive's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mr_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

#2820410
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49900) - you deserved it (5953)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49am - kids - by downlowtooslow (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113722) - you deserved it (71761)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

#2763801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52102) - you deserved it (3029)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112198) - you deserved it (6849)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100444) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML

#2734791
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12401) - you deserved it (48837)

On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a picture with my friend. Her camera can pick out a certain color and only have that color show up in the picture. She chose yellow because of the yellow on my dress. When she showed me the picture, the sash wasn't the only yellow thing; my teeth showed up, too. FML

#2619550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (15821)

On 06/05/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by becstar90 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wanted to print out a 100 page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this I picked a time where I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML

#2604319
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (64321)

On 06/04/2009 at 5:14pm - work - by Ayeya (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

#2569005
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55272) - you deserved it (3891)

On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46902) - you deserved it (7492)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16838) - you deserved it (31430)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (110365)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

#2158517
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55474) - you deserved it (10025)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML

#2150029
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66858) - you deserved it (5967)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version



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