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Mr_Positive's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML
by NotInMiddleSchool / 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by vanessa_d15 / 11/09/2009 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML
by BlackCheetah101 / 11/04/2009 at 1:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by dumped / 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She just cut my sister's hair. FML
by hairdresser / 10/18/2009 at 11:27am / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Kids
by presidont / 10/18/2009 at 8:25am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
by Dora / 10/12/2009 at 9:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, I had to crown the homecoming queen, a responsibility of mine as class president. It just happened to be that the queen is my ex-girlfriend that I still love, escorted by her new boyfriend. FML
by anonymous / 10/11/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
by keepmouthshut / 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML
by SadisticSatire / 10/10/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
by pistonsunshine / 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
by shitballs_911 / 10/07/2009 at 7:13am / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
by mahlee / 10/06/2009 at 12:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…