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MrScarecrow's favorite FMLs
by fuckingdonuts / 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by superscript / 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML
by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by TJFuentes / 02/11/2015 at 8:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML
by myself / 02/09/2015 at 8:32am / United States / Intimacy
by Chemist-why / 01/30/2015 at 10:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/04/2015 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by bad in the sack / 07/05/2014 at 12:26am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML
by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
by Un1ucky / 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…