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MrScarecrow

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MrScarecrow
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 September 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 219
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MrScarecrow's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (3806)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (4165)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (4218)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33232) - you deserved it (3164)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (5039)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42690) - you deserved it (3401)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39523) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (5416)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39369) - you deserved it (4471)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (5191)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46126) - you deserved it (5045)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (7054)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43399) - you deserved it (7318)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40592) - you deserved it (13898)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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