MrHomerSimpson

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Offline (the 06/11/2014 at 3:42pm)

MrHomerSimpson

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4346
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MrHomerSimpson : I'm passionate about donuts.
Mmmmm... donuts.

MrHomerSimpson's page activity

Visits<b>cmonger</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 6:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:35pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:46am<b>LowwLoww</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:10pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:32pm<b>BarrackOfObamas</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:35pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:34am<b>neonvortex</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:53pm<b>FatalAmbiance</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:28am<b>rojdasoenmez</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:57am<b>deuceswild</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:41pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:32am<b>_jennifermarie_</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 6:51pm<b>PlayLeagueAllDay</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 4:42pm<b>sinathedreamer</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 2:08pm<b>sneeks</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 11:02am<b>musicninja539</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:01am<b>heyitspaxo</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 6:40pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:35pm

MrHomerSimpson's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of MrHomerSimpson's badges

MrHomerSimpson's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

by emoflowers / 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

by Jayne / 03/29/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Health

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I failed my driving test. I rammed into the parallel parking poles, ran a stop sign, and stopped at a cross intersection. My instructor called me an idiot. FML

by Brittany / 03/27/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

by Atheist / 03/22/2012 at 12:56am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

by Username / 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

by Username / 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 9:25am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

by Emma Five / 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 9:20am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

by breebree-0 / 03/04/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (California) / Health