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Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (3497)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23134) - you deserved it (12696)
On 12/23/2010 at 5:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (2737)
On 12/09/2010 at 12:35am - misc - by person123abc (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (2080)
On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22142) - you deserved it (2280)
On 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by unemployable (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51560) - you deserved it (9776)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (2943)
On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24654) - you deserved it (3127)
On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (2651)
On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (6019)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38409) - you deserved it (10994)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (2208)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8173) - you deserved it (37216)
On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (2789)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was explaining to my 4 year old daughter that we had to wait until the sign said "walk" before crossing the street and stop if it said "don't walk". Halfway across the intersection, the light turned. She refused to budge. I had to drag her in front of 3 amused looking motorists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (5673)
On 07/01/2010 at 10:05pm - kids - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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