- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Not specified
- Number of visits : 5285
- Number of comments : 12
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted
About Motafota : Hi.
About Motafota : Hi.
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Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML
by lonelyguy / 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm / Puerto Rico / Love
Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML
by angrymadman3542342 / 11/12/2009 at 1:58am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML
by BlackCheetah101 / 11/04/2009 at 1:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
by dammitt / 10/10/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML
by Pho_Rheal / 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by loveless / 09/24/2009 at 12:30am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML
by GreatAim / 09/23/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by mudafkrmas / 09/18/2009 at 12:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
by whorica139 / 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
by weeks / 08/19/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love