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Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (2758)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18560) - you deserved it (5196)
On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7698) - you deserved it (25274)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18134) - you deserved it (1583)
On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (9244)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25205) - you deserved it (1147)
Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6156) - you deserved it (18973)
On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (17650)
On 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by themonkeyman - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15453) - you deserved it (9427)
On 12/19/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by GlassPwn (woman) - United States
Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22127) - you deserved it (6318)
On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, I started talking to a friend about how he needs to stop overreacting and getting angry very easily. He kicked sand up in the air, and it came back into his eyes. He started getting angry, and when I told him this is what I was talking about, he hit me in the nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (5230)
On 11/12/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by angrymadman3542342 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (4085)
On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (8181)
On 11/04/2009 at 1:51am - love - by BlackCheetah101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19219) - you deserved it (4103)
On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (38833)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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