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Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43487) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (2732)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (27201)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:56pm - money - by really_now - United States (Nevada)
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66273) - you deserved it (8128)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28581) - you deserved it (94507)
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54549) - you deserved it (9168)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35398) - you deserved it (1516)
On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (15531)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (57909)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (3730)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (2684)
On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50557) - you deserved it (10756)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (4580)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (6088) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15948) - you deserved it (40304)
On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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