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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 28459
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Mortal_Light's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:20am<b>tyedyetee95</b> - the 10/25/2009 at 3:20am<b>thedafs</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:24pm<b>Gatorsh</b> - the 06/09/2009 at 8:10pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 5:21pm<b>wideh2ogirl</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 5:33pm<b>fishstiks</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 1:26am<b>Nomber1</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 8:51pm<b>crazybitch26</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 10:57pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 4:33pm<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:16am<b>iluvpink02</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 6:47pm<b>ashley207</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 1:28pm<b>mfylife123</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 2:06pm<b>MakinBacon</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 9:48pm

Mortal_Light's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Mortal_Light's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

by bender / 02/10/2010 at 12:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I drop it off as usual. But my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6year old patient. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

by shit_upon_literally / 03/07/2009 at 12:51am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

by VroomVroom / 03/04/2009 at 10:50am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

by jcc / 02/24/2009 at 3:31am / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Transportation