Monkeymolli

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Monkeymolli

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 939
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Monkeymolli : My life is awesome!

Monkeymolli's page activity

Visits<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 5:25am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:18am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:40am<b>DJ_Pelco</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:02am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 3:47am<b>justinccp</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:10pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:00am<b>Chokker</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:29am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 2:57pm<b>Phaeno</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 9:53pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:41pm<b>Brino21395</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:59am<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 12:50am<b>GirlWhoLovesVB</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:21pm<b>westindie</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 8:49pm<b>lorellecaimyth</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:02pm<b>sazaraa</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 3:18am

Monkeymolli's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Monkeymolli's favorite FMLs

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

by katie / 05/25/2011 at 4:23am / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

by lily389 / 03/21/2011 at 1:02am / Health

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids

Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML

by mommy / 11/17/2010 at 7:09am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

by Crossy / 08/23/2009 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML

by Scared / 08/23/2009 at 2:19am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

by Anonymous / 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

by wildthing / 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

by uneek14 / 06/23/2009 at 10:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.