About Monkeymolli : My life is awesome!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45554) - you deserved it (13618)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (4971)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26116) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (2881)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40709) - you deserved it (7575)
On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I had caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast-milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (2102)
On 11/17/2010 at 7:09am - work - by mommy (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (4834)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I was giving my 4 month old son a bath. I felt something in the tub and thought it was a fragment of a bar of soap, but couldn't see because of the suds. I squeezed it and brought it to the surface, revealing my son's green poop. He was smiling at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (4505)
On 12/07/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by tubby - United States (Florida)
Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (22872)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, when I opened the door to my room at night, I saw this big menacing thing staring right at me. I gasped and my heart started racing. I apprehensively turned on the lights, and I realized that it was the semi-deflated Spongebob balloon that has been in my room for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5346) - you deserved it (24070)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Scared - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (35456)
On 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41586) - you deserved it (5720)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60887) - you deserved it (5904)
On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (61569)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (100896)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Monday 17 June 2013
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