About Monii_Harlz : SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK N ROLL!
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Monii_Harlz's favorite FMLs
by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML
by clinictime / 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
by potassiumgirl / 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Scabby / 04/11/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
by vanessax / 04/11/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML
by baugy / 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML
by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy
by Teenagegirl / 03/26/2012 at 12:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…