About Monii_Harlz : SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK N ROLL!
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Monii_Harlz's favorite FMLs
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 11:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
by camzzz / 07/02/2011 at 4:27am / United States (Washington) / Health
by beardedlady / 07/02/2011 at 2:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
by Kamburgler / 07/02/2011 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by yearbook369 / 06/25/2011 at 12:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by wowohwow / 06/23/2011 at 12:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…