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About Mitch_Connor : Life sucks, which is why I need FML to remind me that some have it even worse.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1366) - you deserved it (6241)
On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9175) - you deserved it (837)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8474) - you deserved it (661)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10am - love - by RingAroundThe..SPLAT (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4189) - you deserved it (1539)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10262) - you deserved it (1097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7239) - you deserved it (1046)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5048) - you deserved it (800)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4947) - you deserved it (933)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5998) - you deserved it (1631)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15621) - you deserved it (932)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (1494)
On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (1089)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8077) - you deserved it (842)
On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10317) - you deserved it (1937)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1854) - you deserved it (26468)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
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