About MisterDoctor : I'm no real doctor, but seeing as how this is the Internet, I'll give it a try.
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MisterDoctor's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids
by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
by hclagopus / 11/14/2012 at 6:39am / Norway / Geek
Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML
by ninjakomodo / 11/13/2012 at 4:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML
by BulldogHoops / 11/12/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
by okay._. / 11/01/2012 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 1:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
by Andrew / 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United States / Intimacy
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
- Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny… Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he… Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then…