About MisterDoctor : I'm no real doctor, but seeing as how this is the Internet, I'll give it a try.
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Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37255) - you deserved it (2255)
On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177910) - you deserved it (61451)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (8049)
On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (6714)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7964) - you deserved it (14563)
On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18528) - you deserved it (4950)
On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)
Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11611) - you deserved it (3072)
On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version
Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (9645)
On 01/05/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by didi - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5701) - you deserved it (19567)
On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19181) - you deserved it (2498)
On 12/09/2008 at 3:59am - love - by Velian - Sent from mobile version
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (5595)
On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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