About MisterDoctor : I'm no real doctor, but seeing as how this is the Internet, I'll give it a try.
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Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72604) - you deserved it (10080)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52223) - you deserved it (20567)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10505) - you deserved it (70126)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (2387)
On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64359) - you deserved it (4192)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (2354)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39410) - you deserved it (18842)
On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73215) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7469) - you deserved it (87822)
On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud because I was embarrassing her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (4806)
On 06/06/2009 at 6:24am - love - by Discostu80 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57484) - you deserved it (7513)
On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62805) - you deserved it (14107)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (109281)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72553) - you deserved it (7925)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (5891)
On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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