About MisterDoctor : I'm no real doctor, but seeing as how this is the Internet, I'll give it a try.
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MisterDoctor's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 7:13am / Switzerland (Bern) / Intimacy
Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
by bronzemedal97 / 06/15/2009 at 7:40am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by HatedbyBras / 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm / Netherlands / Intimacy
by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
by Discostu80 / 06/06/2009 at 6:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
by alexis89 / 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy
Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML
by StellarSapience / 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids