About MisterDoctor : I'm no real doctor, but seeing as how this is the Internet, I'll give it a try.
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MisterDoctor's favorite FMLs
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML
by Chuffberry / 02/16/2013 at 3:47am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by djxerxes9000 / 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm / Canada / Work
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
by guessnot / 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love