About Missy612 : Fak Me Krabs.
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Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (18312)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (9093)
On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (4971)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (9869)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (37520)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17340) - you deserved it (6018)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:06pm - misc - by rachel - United States (California)
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (3421)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27806) - you deserved it (5010)
On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14958) - you deserved it (31117)
On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (5358)
On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (2976)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22008) - you deserved it (4656)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17972) - you deserved it (9088)
On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (3079)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6769) - you deserved it (33505)
On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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