About Missy612 : Fak Me Krabs.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8073) - you deserved it (21558)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5279) - you deserved it (19524)
On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (24593)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16445) - you deserved it (2143)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15329) - you deserved it (11877)
On 01/25/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Paicked (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6175) - you deserved it (33131)
On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26418) - you deserved it (7020)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (16324)
On 12/04/2011 at 3:36am - love - by lifesucksbigtimefuys - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (2794)
On 11/04/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Ariel_Mariaa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (2875)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (18162)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (4305)
On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (79181)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (6816)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (15523)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Friday 24 May 2013
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