About Missy612 : Fak Me Krabs.
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13465) - you deserved it (1379)
On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16114) - you deserved it (2736)
On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (5953)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (7508)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (4390)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (1441)
On 07/31/2012 at 10:21am - misc - by loser (man) - United States
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10202) - you deserved it (22699)
On 07/13/2012 at 3:37am - love - by r4inb0wbrit3 (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (2003)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5475) - you deserved it (60000)
On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (4956)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13961) - you deserved it (3531) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/03/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Kilimanjaro (woman) - France
Today, my best friend stopped by my house, borrowed a movie, and left. That was the extent of our communication for the day. Today is my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (1416)
On 03/27/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (21555)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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