Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Miss_Klutzie

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Miss_Klutzie

50Fucked!

Miss_KlutzieMiss_Klutzie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 700
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Miss_Klutzie : Selena is what people call me.
19 years old.
I'm not sure why FML keeps changing my birthday but it is August 13th.
Cali bound girl :)
I've been super busy lately so if you message me and I don't reply, I'm really sorry! I promise I'll reply as soon as possible! D:
Anything else, feel free to ask(:
All i have is instagram: ms_klutzy
And no, I don't want anything else either so don't tell me i should make a kik, snapchat, whatsapp (whatever that is) or anything else. I'm not big on all that stuff, plus i have no phone memory for that bullshit 😂😂
anyways, have a good day.

Miss_Klutzie's page activity

Visits<b>krishgad</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Nikhil_death</b> - 7 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - 8 hours ago<b>_parth</b> - 10 hours ago<b>js48</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - 12 hours ago<b>lola4455</b> - 12 hours ago<b>carecow</b> - 13 hours ago<b>maria95aa</b> - 18 hours ago<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - 20 hours ago<b>crazydoglover</b> - yesterday at 9:46pm<b>iNewKid</b> - yesterday at 8:09pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - yesterday at 12:14pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - yesterday at 12:04pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - yesterday at 10:31am<b>sdroze1389</b> - yesterday at 10:03am<b>terryaly</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:52am

Fucked!<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - 14 hours ago<b>sdroze1389</b> - yesterday at 3:52pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:42am<b>iNewKid</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>TheBelt</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 12:54pm<b>crazydoglover</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:23am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:42am<b>krishgad</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:16pm<b>big_papa_</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:18pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Blee864</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:35pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:36am<b>GAMERZxxHD</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:40pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:05pm<b>24jfred</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 8:45am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 5:13am<b>Nikhil_death</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:38pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:25pm

Miss_Klutzie's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Miss_Klutzie's badges

Miss_Klutzie's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36239) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25385) - you deserved it (4012)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30281) - you deserved it (12846)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (5898)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52345) - you deserved it (19097)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

#20992659
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38606) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (66825)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45715) - you deserved it (4445)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48786) - you deserved it (4689)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (37428)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48352) - you deserved it (4846)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

#20852599
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41230) - you deserved it (4259)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:05pm - kids - by thanks mom ¬_¬ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50599) - you deserved it (6807)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized why my water bill has gone down so much. My 16 year old daughter now only feels it necessary to shower whenever her boyfriend is going to come over. FML

#20822231
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47877) - you deserved it (4903)

On 08/05/2013 at 3:10pm - kids - by OhBoy (woman) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: