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MissSkinnyJeans's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
MissSkinnyJeans's favorite FMLs
by cactii / 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML
by CatLady4Lyf / 02/16/2015 at 9:22am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 1:01am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML
by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML
by jostertoaster12 / 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
by Innocence / 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML
by TheKingKen / 02/13/2015 at 3:40am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Dartfrogger / 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm / United States (Utah) / Health
by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy