Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1360
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MissMaryContrary's page activity

Visits<b>sheislove226</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>ellefaithless</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>ktdad07</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 12:17pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:34pm<b>fuckingbiglife</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 6:40pm

MissMaryContrary's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

MissMaryContrary's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71852) - you deserved it (42035)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (67901)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML


I agree, your life sucks (65083) - you deserved it (12753)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing. And after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45649) - you deserved it (21295)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54166) - you deserved it (19145)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56341) - you deserved it (10895)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54991) - you deserved it (9096)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54946) - you deserved it (19197)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (75745) - you deserved it (19838)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50161) - you deserved it (23592)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (123691) - you deserved it (284111)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14120) - you deserved it (72027)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: