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MissMaryContrary

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MissMaryContrary

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 985
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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MissMaryContrary's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>ellefaithless</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>ktdad07</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 12:17pm<b>fuckingbiglife</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 6:40pm

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Beginner

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

MissMaryContrary's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

#3229865
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67109) - you deserved it (39330)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (64425)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61402) - you deserved it (11965)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a food allergy test done because of an ugly acne upswing. And after over a year of vegetarianism, I find out that I'm allergic to soy. FML

#2741589
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42595) - you deserved it (19964)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50624) - you deserved it (18108)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52823) - you deserved it (10039)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51426) - you deserved it (8605)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94937) - you deserved it (38895)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51370) - you deserved it (18148)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70974) - you deserved it (18383)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (22397)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110832) - you deserved it (261818)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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