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MissMaryContrary

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MissMaryContrary

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1025
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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MissMaryContrary's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>ellefaithless</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 2:20am<b>ktdad07</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 12:17pm<b>fuckingbiglife</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 6:40pm

MissMaryContrary's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

MissMaryContrary's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54590) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58657) - you deserved it (3394)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56841) - you deserved it (11358)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49031) - you deserved it (8663)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

#4359168
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56685) - you deserved it (6250)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:23am - money - by goin4broke (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59540) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18238) - you deserved it (44014)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61245) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

#4073449
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65740) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (18667)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

#3470108
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63880) - you deserved it (12505)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (148741) - you deserved it (9348)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46683) - you deserved it (18074)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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