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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (3222)
On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15779) - you deserved it (1846)
On 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm - misc - by WishIWasAWriter (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (27910)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (3965)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (11865)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6194) - you deserved it (12337)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51358) - you deserved it (4320)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I fell down the stairs while reading the 'mind your step' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17637) - you deserved it (9619)
On 08/18/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (2227)
On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)
Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14716) - you deserved it (3851)
On 03/17/2010 at 10:12pm - work - by TheSuregeon (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (2630)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15551) - you deserved it (15073)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23190) - you deserved it (5207)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16277) - you deserved it (3349)
On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (1592)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
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