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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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MissIconic's favorite FMLs
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML
by effedfosh / 04/07/2009 at 12:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML
Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML
by Celina / 01/11/2009 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Love