Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About Mikeymikey : No one cares about the ranting..
ON a serious note
You want some real FML? go to Congo or remote parts of africa where rape and death is everyday's FML for lots of ppl. Life generally sucks but it's usually worse for the next guy. So man up and move on. life deserves to be lived right for those who can. Some just don't have a choice.
Seriously FML isn't what it was..
Has anyone realised that most FML's are written by total strangers that suddenly pop up on FML?? but when normal FML members want to write an FML it is not accepted?? auto generated FML's?? mmhh... What say you? AaARGGGGh!!!
Ignorance is bliss, so's island life on the weekends :p
Pirates are kewl... aarrrgh!!
SO much negativity up there.... here's a positive thought... GTFO
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Friday 2 October 2015