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Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (5482)
On 12/21/2010 at 4:25am - health - by qwaynick -
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39813) - you deserved it (2173)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39813) - you deserved it (2173)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:31pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91468) - you deserved it (10767)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (13898)
On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (2671)
On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83446) - you deserved it (4749)
On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2208)
On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13843) - you deserved it (3127)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (1756)
On 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm - love - by Tally (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (3253)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by tawnaciousd - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137054) - you deserved it (10990)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, for the first time, I hugged the man I have been in love with for four years. It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47877) - you deserved it (9943)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:23am - love - by itrustedsnapeallalong (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (39450)
On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80201) - you deserved it (3851)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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