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Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19584) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (1510)
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (1257)
On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (1372)
On 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (1971)
On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (2936)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16853) - you deserved it (1887)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (1871)
On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16493) - you deserved it (7563)
On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (1442)
Today, for my birthday, my family offered to take one of my friends to the movies with me. I had to pay a random person in my class to pose as a friend of mine, so that I wouldn't look pathetic in front of my parents. She forgot my name three times. They didn't buy it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12540) - you deserved it (13825)
On 07/09/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Nofriends (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (1265)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16718) - you deserved it (4580)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18239) - you deserved it (2109)
On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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