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Midnightpearls

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 2:09am) | Search for a member

Midnightpearls

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1140
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

About Midnightpearls : I'm just a random girl, one of many...

Midnightpearls's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 4:11pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 11:07am<b>katiecakes13</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 9:22am<b>eliiteXXXninja</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Thedudebroman</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:57pm<b>jcxxll93</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 5:02am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 10:11pm<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:22am<b>tigger2007</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 5:35pm<b>Random_Red</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 2:13am

Midnightpearls's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Midnightpearls's badges

Midnightpearls's favorite FMLs

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

#18785645
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (2557)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:06pm - money - by meggs2209 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (5348)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (9842)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (5448)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46847) - you deserved it (9273)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21916) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (20540)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (5272)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (20926)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (8169)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (8954)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (6477)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (6282)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)



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