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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (5737)
On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20870) - you deserved it (9257)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (3244)
On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (4596)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12183) - you deserved it (4197)
On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (24529)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (22168)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4228) - you deserved it (24241)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17596) - you deserved it (5442)
On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (5497)
On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (4803)
On 10/08/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by StellaSanguina (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48726) - you deserved it (5387)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (6383)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139534) - you deserved it (32537)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding my bike with my parents. They make me wear a helmet when I'm with them. Some college age kids drove past and yelled, "Nice helmet!" My mother then told me, "They like you!" I'm sixteen and my helmet is blue. With flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43259) - you deserved it (6428)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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